Alan Sircom made me really LOL on pfm this morning with this 'sample' review:
[QUOTE=Alan Sircom;2382025]
"Sam 'Sidewinder' Brent played alto sax with the Tad 'Polaris' Hammersmith Big Band from 1946 until he was spotted by Chad 'Redstone' Balanitis, who signed him to Nike Hercules' legendary Hound Dog label in late 1957. Brent was a natural bandleader and on Let Me Fill Up Your Silo, his first (and only) outing with the label, he was joined by the then unheard of Milt 'Titan' Croydon on piano, Benny 'Pershing' Merton on bass, and Big Joe 'Minuteman' Redbridge on sticks.
"Despite sinuous reworkings of standards like, 'Is It Meant To Look Like That?' and, 'If You Loved Me, You'd Swallow It', Let Me Fill Up Your Silo was not destined for success. Panned by critics at the time for being 'a musical war crime', Brent responded by dying from a self-introduced rectal obscenity explosion on New Year's Day, 1959. Just four copies of the album were thought to be still in existence (three of which are still being used in urban pacification programs), making the album priceless. As a result, the master tapes were recently discovered in a clogged sewer, and thanks to Clem 'Tomahawk' Phimosis and Bud 'Trident II' Chancroid of the Crap Music Reissue Company, this long forgotten 'classic' is now available on 45rpm triple 200g virgin vinyl. Despite being unlistenable, it sounds better than ever."
Have been struggling with vertigo the last year. Went back to my GP this week to see what more can be done. "Get a shorter ladder?" he helpfully suggested.
This lack of real help could have really got me down, especially with the economy and all as it is. Fortunately on the way home I spotted a news bulletin to at least indicate there is some hope we're coming out of it all, apparently the vacuum cleaner business is really picking up :-P
Ok, after my embarrassing measurement confusions, I heard this one in the ironmongers today (yes, I have a real ironmongers where I live!):
The shopkeeper brought in a length of wood he'd been to cut to size for his customer. The customer (a guy in his late 70s I'd guess), says, "You've cut it too short". "Nah," says the shopkeeper, "it's 1 metre, 35, just like you asked". But the guy insists it's too short. After much going to and forth on this, the shopkeeper takes out the tape measure and goes: "See, it's exactly 1 metre and 35 cms." "35 cms?" asks the guy, "But I wanted 1 metre and 35 inches!".
:-) Hadn't realised my dad had been in Worcester today... Hopefully you'll pick up some more comedy gems tomorrow when you purchase essential provisions in your neighbourhood haberdasher and apothecary.
Question are the laws set up to protect the people of crime and wrongdoings of and by others?
Then how come the free laws cost us £750/hr to use via a lawyer and if I want to to take the case further maybe more than £12,000. I do and I am., see I want justice, well sir it might cost you more he said.
It seems crime is a club for the criminal and the law makers and the law server to steal more money from us hidden under the coats of justice.
As a engineer I have design things that were more useful than some stupid laws and have worked longer in some cases with pittances of a salary.
True value from the Law and servers NO WAY Bigger crooks than a bank robber and a bank come to think of it.
A Joke you wanted well its on us we voted the lawmakers into power and most are crooks.
"The guys were all on a fishing trip in northern Quebec , and slept two to a tent. No one wanted to share a tent with Bob, because he snored so loudly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
The first guy, Mike, slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.
They said, "Mike, what happened to you?"
He said, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
The next night it was Larry's turn. In the morning, same thing,
hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.
They said, "Larry , what happened to you? You look awful!"
He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the tent with his snoring. I watched him all night."
The third night was Fred's turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy, a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
"Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it.
They said, "Fred, what happened?"
He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night. "Bob sat up and watched me all night."
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.
The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?''Eight', the boy replied.The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?'
The boy replied, 'Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four."
"Oh, really?" the pharmacist replied with a grin.
"Yes." the boy said. "We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do none of those."
With parts of the UK blanketed in snow for the second time this winter, Sainsbury's has seen panic buying of flour, milk and eggs. "It looks like we're in for another battering" said a spokesperson.
Comments
My cat is full of useful information like that.
When I'm on the road, why do I never see a big chef?
I went to the doctor complaining of dizziness, apparently it's going around...
I also asked the doctor to give me something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite.
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.
[QUOTE=Alan Sircom;2382025]
"Despite sinuous reworkings of standards like, 'Is It Meant To Look Like That?' and, 'If You Loved Me, You'd Swallow It', Let Me Fill Up Your Silo was not destined for success. Panned by critics at the time for being 'a musical war crime', Brent responded by dying from a self-introduced rectal obscenity explosion on New Year's Day, 1959. Just four copies of the album were thought to be still in existence (three of which are still being used in urban pacification programs), making the album priceless. As a result, the master tapes were recently discovered in a clogged sewer, and thanks to Clem 'Tomahawk' Phimosis and Bud 'Trident II' Chancroid of the Crap Music Reissue Company, this long forgotten 'classic' is now available on 45rpm triple 200g virgin vinyl. Despite being unlistenable, it sounds better than ever."
And agreed, out of context, it comes across a bit bit trashy...
Thanks for prompting my wriggle.
You see, in reality i utterly respect humanity regardless of difference...
(Or is it centimetres...?)
When my great grandfather died, a large portrait of him fell from the wall at exactly the same moment.
It fell right on his head and killed him...
Hadn't realised my dad had been in Worcester today...
Hopefully you'll pick up some more comedy gems tomorrow when you purchase essential provisions in your neighbourhood haberdasher and apothecary.
(If you even smiled you are very bad.)
Law and Lawyer.
Question are the laws set up to protect the people of crime and wrongdoings of and by others?
Then how come the free laws cost us £750/hr to use via a lawyer and if I want to to take the case further maybe more than £12,000. I do and I am., see I want justice, well sir it might cost you more he said.
It seems crime is a club for the criminal and the law makers and the law server to steal more money from us hidden under the coats of justice.
As a engineer I have design things that were more useful than some stupid laws and have worked longer in some cases with pittances of a salary.
True value from the Law and servers NO WAY Bigger crooks than a bank robber and a bank come to think of it.
A Joke you wanted well its on us we voted the lawmakers into power and most are crooks.
You sound determined to see justice done Colin. Good on you.
Loving this! :-D